If you've been watching the latest season of Netflix's "Nobody Wants This," you're probably familiar with the "Make Them" theory. Introduced by Morgan (Justine Lupe) during an off-the-cuff podcast conversation with Sasha (Timothy Simons), the philosophy is a cheeky counterpoint to the popular "Let Them" theory coined by Mel Robbins: Instead of sitting back and accepting how others choose to treat you, take action. If you want someone to respect you, recognize you, or give you an opportunity, don't just wait around for it to happen. Make them.
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It's an assertive take on getting what you want. And while Morgan may have been talking about romantic relationships, her point also resonates when applied to public relations. After all, what is PR if not a practice founded on the importance of relationship building?
Even more than relationships—visibility, credibility, and influence are everything in this industry. The brands that earn attention aren't the ones just waiting for an opportunity to come along. They're the ones creating reasons for people to pay attention in the first place.
For PR pros, that mindset comes down to four moves: create opportunities, respond thoughtfully when coverage turns negative, build relationships before you need them, and pursue attention that serves a clear goal.
Stop waiting for the perfect opportunity. Create one.
Meaningful media attention rarely happens by accident. It takes understanding what makes a story relevant right now, identifying the people who would find it valuable, and proactively connecting the dots.
That might mean turning proprietary research into a timely industry conversation, positioning an executive as an expert on an emerging trend or finding an unexpected cultural connection that makes an otherwise ordinary announcement newsworthy. Don't wait for a news cycle to include you. Find a way to contribute to it, even if it involves outside-the-box thinking.
In the absence of hard company news, my team recently secured a no-cost sponsor position at a “wellness darty," also known as a day party that swaps drinking for fitness and wellness, in Las Vegas for a tart cherry juice client, connecting the CPG brand’s health benefits to a trend emerging in the health space. The strategy also includes facilitating NIL deals with student athletes, setting the brand up as a sponsor of the Charlotte Marathon, and meeting with registered dietitians to understand how the product’s ingredients function to provide health benefits. All executed without offering anything but a pouch of tart cherry juice.
Creating a reason to be covered is only part of the job. The next challenge is what you do when that attention takes a direction you didn’t intend.
Don't confuse all press with good press.
There's an old saying in PR that all press is good press. That's only true if you know what to do with it. Negative coverage, an unfavorable headline or an unexpected controversy can do real damage to a brand's reputation. The difference between a moment of bad press and a full-blown reputational crisis comes down to how a company responds.
On another account, a public controversy following an announcement in September affected some reporters’ willingness to cover the next, bigger announcement happenning the following month. It showed the team a clear lesson: Negative attention does not remain confined to one news cycle. A delayed response can shape the opportunities available long after the original story fades.
This is where the "Make Them" mentality becomes particularly compelling. You may not be able to control the initial narrative, but you can take an active role in shaping what comes next. That means responding thoughtfully rather than reactively, providing context that may be missing, redirecting attention toward the bigger picture and identifying opportunities to reframe the conversation.
In crisis communications, the goal isn't simply to make negative coverage disappear. It's to give journalists, stakeholders and the public a more complete story to tell. Sometimes that means acknowledging a misstep and demonstrating accountability. Other times, it means correcting misinformation or making sure a single incident doesn't define an entire organization.
Ultimately, you can't always choose the story people tell about a brand. But you can make a compelling case for why there's more to the story.
Build relationships before you need them.
Knowing how to shape a narrative to a brand's advantage doesn’t mean you can summon coverage on demand. Communicators cannot manufacture credibility overnight, and they certainly can't make a journalist interview a spokesperson or write an exclusive on a brand's news. That’s why building relationships matters before you need them.
Build relationships by making future opportunities possible. Consistent communication, thoughtful introductions, relevant story ideas and a genuine understanding of what journalists cover all contribute to trust over time.
Follow your friendlies on LinkedIn (and even X (Twitter), if they have a profile). Send them a note congratulating them on their new baby when an “out on maternity leave” email bounces back. Ask them how their roof repair is coming along if they mentioned it before your subject matter expert joined a Zoom interview a few months prior. Little relationship-building moments like these matter a million times more than the volume of “just circling back” follow-ups.
And then when a timely opportunity comes along or a crisis hits, those relationships can make the difference between getting a response and getting overlooked.
Be proactive, but know what you're working toward.
Relationships and initiative still need direction. Perhaps the biggest lesson from Morgan's philosophy is that intention is critical; being assertive without a strategy is just making noise.
Effective PR requires knowing what you want to accomplish, who you need to reach and what kind of visibility will actually move your business forward. Not every opportunity is the right opportunity, and not every headline translates into meaningful impact.
The goal isn't attention for attention's sake. It's earning the kind of attention that builds awareness, strengthens reputation and creates momentum.
So, Morgan, I agree: Sometimes you really do have to "make them." In PR, that means taking ownership of the narrative, creating opportunities for a story to be heard and giving the right people a reason to pay attention.
Because the best media opportunities aren't always the ones that find you. Often they're the ones you make happen.
Remi Yuter is Senior Communications Specialist at Hot Paper Lantern.