In 1987, I covered one of the most horrific stories ever reported. A man named Gary Michael Heidnik was arrested for kidnapping, torturing and raping six women, whom he kept imprisoned in a hole that he dug in his Philadelphia basement. Not surprisingly, the media attention generated by this gruesome story was somewhat of a circus.
The defense attorney that stepped to the plate was a charismatic up-and-coming young man by the name of Charles Peruto Jr., whose father was already a local lawyer superstar. Like father, like son, the young Charlie loved the media attention, and we loved him right back. Charlie got it. So on the day the news broke, I shoved a microphone in his face and asked, “Mr. Peruto, why would you take this case?” To which he responded, “I’ll give you one million reasons why.” One million dollars was the sum Peruto was allegedly paid.
For our report, that was a keeper. Keepers are short, crisp, and catchy snippets that drive home a point in an interesting and attention-grabbing manner. Keepers are not limited to media but are an effective way to cut through the clutter and spice up business communications as well. By animating your message with an analogy or visual example, not only will you increase retention, but you will help your listener understand the concept.
Here are some examples of keepers vs. their more dull counterparts:
Dull: Conservatives have looked at this seat and decided that they would not be relevant candidates against a five-term senator.
Keeper: “Running against Arlen Specter is like having your teeth pulled without Novocaine.”
Dull: The sex addicts who use the Internet undergo a speedy progression of their addiction.
Keeper: “The Internet is the crack cocaine of sex addiction.”
Dull: Intussusception is a medical condition in which a part of the small intestine has invaded another section of the intestine.
Keeper: “Intussusception is triggered when the bowel folds over on itself like a collapsible telescope.”
Just as important as keepers are the words and phrases we use when delivering presentations, leading meetings or trying to convince a boss why more resources are necessary to keep a project moving forward. Often, presenters fall flat because instead of using language that is catchy and convincing, they sound as if they are trying to convince themselves. Here’s some examples:
Not convincing: We believe the airport is safe.
Convincing: Safety is our top priority.
Not convincing: I don’t think the two incidents are related.
Convincing: The two incidents are completely unrelated.
Not convincing: It is not our policy to discriminate.
Convincing: We do not tolerate discrimination of any kind.
These examples illustrate using an active or passive voice. Active words can help you inspire and sell your vision.
I have spent a lot of time with the director of investor relations for a worldwide pharmaceutical company. He is incredibly bright and personable but tends to use phrases such as “pretty sure,” “maybe,” “could be,” and “might”—words that can be showstoppers. His boss says he comes across as unsure of himself, unconvincing and lacking confidence, which will ultimately affect his ability to rise in the organization.
KEEPERS AND CATCHY WORD FIXES
• Be your own editor. Go through every segment and ask yourself whether it adds to what you are writing or saying. Try paraphrasing to see if you can say the same thing using fewer words.
• USA Today approach. Pretend you’re speaking to USA Today readers to help you put concepts in the simplest terms possible to make it understandable for others.
• Apply analogies. Simple analogies that create visual impressions that are catchy and memorable such as “fingernails on a chalkboard,” “it was so hot you could fry an egg on the pavement” or “has a mind like a steel trap.”
• Ad copy approach. Ads are written to address people’s wants and needs. The words appeal to our emotions and stress the benefits of a product or service, like energy efficient, quiet, leak-proof, high performance, good value and long lasting.
• Tweet it. If you only had 140 characters to make your words matter, how would you say it? That’s a good exercise for trimming the fat.
You can quote me on that. PRN
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This article by Karen Friedman was adapted from her new book, Shut Up and Say Something (Praeger, 2010). She can be reached at [email protected].